i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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