Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
