He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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