Kiss
Puke
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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