You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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