So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
