For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
