I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize