Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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