I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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