Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes

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(416): View more from Ontario

The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.

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(949): View more from California

Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s

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(512): View more from Texas

Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

fair is fair

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you

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(703): View more from Virginia

You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.

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(716): View more from New York

I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.

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