their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
id be glad to
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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