I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
ok first of all what the fuck
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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