I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
