You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
