I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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