Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
