I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
it was like eating out sand paper
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
