If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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