it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
