I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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