I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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