you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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