Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
