Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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