I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
