every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
