you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Your cock deserves a montage
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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