i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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