I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
