Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
