your room smells of hookers.
And success
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
