Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This is the high leading the old right now
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
