guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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