'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
