you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
