It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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