Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
