your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
