Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
