i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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