I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
