I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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