Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
