Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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