saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
They took my balls.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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