I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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