Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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