Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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