i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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