Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
