you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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