we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
