Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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