As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
