it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
