you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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