I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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