I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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